It's been years since you graduated from T9 and typing every message lyk thissss. Texting isn't a big deal anymore — that is, unless you're texting someone cute you just met or matched with. If you don't hear back right away, you might be tempted to follow up with a double text. What is double texting? It's a controversial phenomenon that came about as people ditched brick-shaped cell phones and graduated to unlimited texting plans. The prospect of sending your middle school crush, Ryan from Algebra, two texts back to back was practically unthinkable way back when.
But a lot has changed since then, including the way you text. You can easily send Ryan multiple texts in under a minute without incurring hefty fines and your parents' wrath. And hey, there are a lot of good reasons you might want to send Ryan two texts in a row, especially considering that he grew up, moved out, and no longer shares a bedroom with his little brother.
Double texting sometimes gets a bad rap for coming across as overwhelming, aggressive, or clingy. But other times, it's really no big deal. You're a grown woman; you can text whoever you want, whenever you want, however many times in a row.
There are no one-size-fits-all rules for dating. More than anything, it's important to trust your gut. But if you want an official answer from an expert, keep reading below for the best strategies before you hit "send" for the second time.
Consider Why They Might Not Be Responding
"You have to remember that you aren't the only thing happening in the world," says Eric Resnick, a dating coach and founder of Profile Helper. (Harsh but true.)
If they're at work or school, or not that much time has passed, cool it on sending that, "Hey, just checking that you saw this!" message. They probably haven't died. Probably.
Only Send A Follow-Up Text If You Have A Good Reason
"It can definitely read as a desperate move, so be sure to only do it if it's going to really pack a punch," Resnick recommends.
Have something concrete to say? Go for it. Send them that meme about puppies. Let them know you heard their favorite band is doing a secret show in town. Tell them there's traffic and you'll probably be 10 minutes late for dinner. Ask how their big presentation went at work. You got this!
Ready to send a double text? Cool. There's just one cardinal rule. "Don't make the text about the time it's been since you've heard from them," Resnick says. "Just keep it upbeat and move the conversation forward."
Correcting A Typo Doesn't Really Count As A Double Text
That said, it's probably fine to let it stand.
"Unless it is a really horrible typo or autocorrect (accidentally putting a space in the middle of 'therapist,' or 'hungry' has autocorrected to something like 'dong'), let it go," Resnick says. "Next time, take the extra second to look at your message before you hit send."
Beware Of Barking
Dating expert Meredith Golden advises Elite Daily to avoid what she calls "barking" — the practice of sending multiple texts in a row.
You know.
Texting.
Like.
This.
It can get...
Annoying.
"I see this a tad and it's a turn off," she says. "Each thought gets a message and a send. [Barking] feels like an annoying chihuahua jumping and yapping. Say what you have to say in one message and then hit send."
Resnick agrees. "People who text with abandon like that get ghosted because they get annoying. Fast," he warns. "Text as much as you want, but be willing to accept the consequences of it."
It boils down to comfort level: You can get away with blowing up your best friend's phone, but it's a different story if you overwhelm someone you've never even met IRL.
But Honestly? You Do You
If you're having a conversation that flows so naturally that you find yourself with lots to say, then say it. It would be a shame to stifle a genuine connection just because you feel beholden to a so-called "rule."
As long as you're not cutting off the person you're texting, who cares if you send one text, or two or five in row? If you're vibing, you're already golden.
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