Relationships
15 Boxes To Check Off On A First Date, According To 15 Women
by Candice Jalili
When you think about it, first dates can be tricky. If you've sacrificed a night out with your girls (or let's be real, a night parked in front of Netflix on your couch), you want to ensure the person you're with is worth your time. Sometimes, it can be tough to get a good read on the person you're with. I mean, seriously. What should you look for on a first date? How are you even supposed to know? Well, if you're looking for guidelines, 15 brave women recently just shared the boxes they try to check off on first dates and, honestly, they're worth jotting down in your phone's Notes app.
Do you have things in common?
Do we have stuff in common? Did the conversation flow? Did he seem genuinely interested in getting to know me? Do we make each other laugh? Am I physically attracted to them? Do we have chemistry? Am I looking forward to seeing them again?
Is the conversation going smoothly?
Can we carry on a conversation fairly easily? Do I enjoy spending time with them? Are they looking for basically the same thing I am? Do I feel like I trust them enough to want to spend more time with them?
Could you see yourself kissing them?
honestly the first date is super easy to ''pass'' for me. basically anyone who doesn't actively turn me off or scare me got a second date.basic hygiene okay, could see myself kissing them without wanting to throw up, sound/tone of voice OK, basic social skills and awareness, decent conversation, a few laughs. all of those check out and i'll see them again. sadly that seemed to be a pretty tall order back when i was online dating.
Do they have basic table manners?
Don't chew with your mouth open
Table manners
be kind to the wait staff
Good conversation
Are they making a genuine effort to get to know you?
I want someone that makes a genuine effort to get to know me and doesn't just talk about themselves. I am also a stickler for oral hygiene. I expect someone to have a job and some goals as well. I don't care how much money someone makes as long as they have some drive to make the world a better place. Healthy habits are also important.
Are you happy with them?
The "am i feeling happy" box
How do they treat service people?
How do they smell?
Weird way to put it but... I guess the first standards are their hygiene. Do they smell bad? Do they have nice teeth? Is their hair fashionably styled? Is their voice pleasant to listen to? Are they maintaining eye contact, but not too much? Are they good listeners? Are they interested in me? Do I feel comfortable around this dude? That’s about it for me. Are they capable adults who can care for themselves and do I feel good being around them.
Can the two of you sit around and talk for hours?
I just want us to be able to talk for hours and delight in exploring each other’s thoughts and experiences and ideas. If we can do that and there’s a fundamental physical attraction, I’m good to move forward.
Do they seem trustworthy?
Do they actually listen to me when I'm talking, or are they just waiting to talk about themself? Do they seem like a decent, trustworthy human being? There are a number of things I look for, but I think those two are the big ones.
Are the two of you related?
Are we not blood relatives? (This was an issue on my one and only blind date)
How much fun are they?
Fun to be with, works at a full time job, no felonies, no bankruptcy
Is there a physical attraction?
Call me shallow but I can not date someone I'm not attracted to. So physical attraction.Then it would be things like do they have good hygiene? Do they work? Are they funny? Can we vibe? Do they give off any weird vibes? Are they kind? etc
Do they make good conversation?
I’m kind of shy and quiet so I need someone who is a good conversationalist but I don’t want them to just talk about themselves
What sort of vibe are you getting from them?
Honestly for me it’s about immediate chemistry. How comfortable I feel around him. If I get any vibes he might be dangerous or strange in a scary way I usually mark that down as a NOPE. I like confident guys and I understand many are nervous on dates but you can pretty easily tell when a guy is confident and funny. Also, confident isn’t the same as douche bag.
Remember, people! Everyone's boxes are different. What's a dealbreaker for someone else may be a deal maker for you. Or just, like, no big deal. The point here is that you don't need to compare yourself to others!
