Relationships
These People's Reasons For Breaking Up With Their Long-Term Partners Are So Sad
by Candice Jalili
Every single relationship in the world ends in one of two ways: You either eventually break up, or you stay together until one of you dies. In the beginning, it's easy to just get up and go as soon as you're unhappy, but as time goes on, it gets more and more difficult to walk away. So what constitutes as a real reason to end a relationship you've invested so much time in? Well, in a recent Reddit AskWomen thread, real ladies share why they broke up with a long-term partner. Get your pitchforks ready, because these ladies deserve better.
He never wanted to spend time with her.
Long story short-ish...we were together nearly a decade. It slowly started to seem like we were just roommates. The sex was no good. Ever. He used to tell me I chew too loudly, breath too loudly, talk too much, and I didn’t laugh - I “cackled”. He never wanted to spend time with me. When I would get him to eat dinner with me, he would put on his headphones to listen to the tv so he didn’t have to talk to me or hear me eat. I would walk into his office with nothing but panties on asking him to come to bed and he’d tell me to wait until after this video. 2 hours later, he’d show up to bed and I was totally over the mood. The last time I asked him to hang out with me he said “I don’t want to be nagged to hang out with you.” So I stopped asking and started figuring out how I was going to leave. Your fiancé shouldn’t have to nag you to hang out, you should want to spend time with them. It’s really scary but god I am SO much happier now and hopefully he finds someone perfect for him because it was not me. Lol.
He always wanted to be right.
It wasn't a single trigger, more like a gradual losing faith that we could be happy together. I came to believe that he was just waiting for me to realize that he was right all along, and that I just needed to give up my disagreements and then we'd be happy. That's not a mindset for productively working on things.
He had no redeeming characteristics.
No ambition, killed my optimism all the time, told me we couldn't save money, drank and smoked his 20's away, spent every cent on bullshit or antique junk that made no sense. Poor health, poor morals, no values, deeply embedded in the "meme" culture.
Straw that broke: he cheated on me because being high on cocaine was so hard to handle! So he basically got a second gf.
I'd tell you my revenge but it was deep savage and cold. My final 'anything' to him was a nasty, awful 'goodbye'.
He's an awful person, period.
All of his little habits became too annoying to handle.
My boyfriend and I had been dating for a little over a year and he had done a bunch of little things that annoyed me. I tried talking to him about all of them numerous times but he never made any attempt to change anything or make me happier. I would always go out if my way for him and he never for me. One morning we were laying in bed and he was being pretty obnoxious. Taking up the whole bed and just generally being annoying. I looked him in the eye and told him we needed a break and asked if he could please leave.
He cheated multiple times.
A lot of things, really. He cheated on me 3 times, his parents hated me, he was emotionally and mentally abusive, and would tell me things like "I love you but I'm not in love with you". He'd also blame every relationship problem on me.
One day in the spring, I was taking a shower, and when I stepped out, I realized that I really didn't want to date him anymore. I was hanging on to something that was making me absolutely miserable because I was afraid of being on my own (we were together for almost 5 years).
It suddenly became clear that their relationship didn't have a future.
Well there wasn’t one straw for me, but all of my doubts and stuff that I had pushed down came to a head one night at 3 AM when I realized with 100% certainty that I needed to end it because I did not want to be with him forever. So I stopped by his place a week later (he was too busy before that, kept blowing me off...) and told him that I was unhappy and that I felt it was best that we breakup. It was difficult in the moment and hard to watch him hurt so much. He was begging for me to stay and listen, told me he wanted to marry me one day, promised he would change. I left after about 40 minutes of that feeling like a monster but also relieved. I haven’t had any extensive conversation with him since, and in retrospect it was all pretty abrupt. He literally didn’t see it coming and I do regret that but I could not stay a second longer.
He had his mistress move in with them.
He was abusive and my first and only boyfriend ever, so I just wasn't equipped to deal with him. He was way ahead of me in experience and was charmingly abusive. It didn't help that I had to family to back me up, so I felt like I really had no one else.
One day he told me we'd have someone over for summer, but he made it seem like a friend was coming over.
Turns out it was another woman. No joke - I bumped into her leaving our bedroom while buttoning up her shorts. I guess they didn't realise I was home and hadn't left for classes yet.
I didn't even argue. Went to get some boxes and started packing my things the same day.
He couldn't be who she wanted him to be.
We got together when we were 16 and were together six years before I broke it off. He was the first person to ever show any interest in me, one of the only people in my life that made me feel loved. That's the main reason why it lasted so long, I wasn't sure I could function without him, and I wasn't sure I'd find someone else who could love me. But he couldn't be the kind of partner I needed him to be and I grew tired of him taking me for granted and he often wasn't there for me when I needed him. So I ended it, and after the first few days I just felt so relieved about being out of it, I didn't cry once after we said goodbye. Actually I was worried that there was something wrong with me, since I wasn't more upset after ending a six-year relationship, but in a way I figured it was a sign that I should have done it way before I did.
I have a new SO now that I've been with for almost a year, I love him more than anything and we're moving in together in less than two months. 2 years ago I felt so sure that I'd never be able to find anyone to love me if I left my ex, and today I am so relieved that I took that risk as I think we're both doing better now because of it.
They weren't on the same page.
We were together 3 years. I actually just ended it Sunday. I loved him romantically, he did not return my feelings. I was emotionally expressive and open, and he was more closed off. We tried to make it work for a long time, but in the end we just weren’t working and needed different things from relationships. I’m sad but okay, and looking forward to this next part of my life.
He was too negative.
We were together 6 years. There were a LOT of reasons that had been building up over time. A real lack of compatibility and he was such a miserable guy, his negativity was really dragging me down. Then we were supposed to be going to a show in a barn put on by our friends. They announced that there wasn't going to be a bathroom, people would have to pee in the woods. I was on my period, and having a really heavy one so I said no way could I go. He got all pissy with me about that and I had it. So I told him I wanted to break up. I said I feel like our incompatibility has become too great, we've grown in different directions and we're not a good fit anymore. He didn't take it very well at the time, but after several months he said that I was right, and we'd make better friends. So now we're just friends.
After reading these devastating stories, it can become easy to question your own relationship, but just know that there's one common theme shared by all of these stories. All of these women knew when it was time to walk away. Take a deep breath and rest assured that when and if the time comes for you, you'll know as well.
Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.
Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!
