Relationships

Body Language Experts Say The Way You & Your SO Hold Hands Is Telling

by Rachel Shatto
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Originally Published: 
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There are lots of subtle hints body language can shed light on about how people actually feel, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. From subconsciously pointing your toes at each other to mirroring one another's gestures and expressions, these seemingly small gestures can be super telling. One of the most fascinating ways body language conveys your connection with your partner is at your fingertips — literally. Your body language when you’re holding hands with your partner can provide all kinds of clues about the dynamics of your relationship and your romantic connection, says Patti Wood, body language expert and author of Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma. "It’s one of my favorite couple behaviors to interpret because it shows not only the connection and confidence in the connection between the members of the couple, but also, potentially, the power dynamics and passion and tenderness," says Wood about hand-holding.

Body language expert Yana German agrees that you can learn a lot about a couple from the way they hold hands. "Hand-holding is always an amazing sign for couples who are in a relationship," she tells Elite Daily. "There are, of course, signs of more dominance if your partner is cupping over your hand, or squeezing indicates they prefer to be always right and in charge."

Here's what else the experts say of the different hand-holding styles and what they mean.

Fingers Intertwined & Facing Forward.

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When a couple holds hands with their fingers entwined and palms facing forward, that's a sign they have “a very intimate connection,” Traci Brown, body language expert and author of Persuasion Point: Body Language and Speech for Influence, tells Elite Daily.

This also shows a balance in the couple's power dynamic, adds German. "There is no superiority in who is in charge or not. The relationship is based on trust, honesty, the same life goals and ambitions, and thus [shows] a couple looking forward to experience life with each other and enjoying the present moment,” she says.

Firm Interlaced Grip With Crossed Arms.

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A tight, interlaced grip can show both confidence and support, says Wood, which is why this type of hand-holding can often be seen from celebrities on the red carpet. “The gripper is saying, ‘I have got you and I won’t let go you can depend on me,’” Wood explains.

Brown adds that this type of hand-holding requires more closeness than many of the other forms, because interconnectedness of both hands and arms are evidence of even more intimacy.

Over-The-Shoulder Hand-Hold.

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This hand-hold shows both comfort and connection, says German. “They are not afraid to be themselves, and can be not only lovers but buddies, where the connection between them is based on a fun-loving, easy flow,” she explains.

Wood points out that the interlaced fingers show a truly sweet connection between two people. “There is so much wonderful, mutual contact in this hold, [which] typically shows a matching and mirroring of romantic feelings and affection. It's my personal favorite to see in couples and to do with a sweetie,” she shares.

Holding Fingers Only.

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Holding fingers rather than the whole hand suggests a much more casual connection, says German. “It’s more of a teaser testing type of relationship where both partners must have their own space and where neither of them want to be fully committed as [they’re still] in an exploring state,” she explains.

Palms Pressed Together.

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While this hand hold may seem more relaxed, it’s still very intimate, says Wood. “Palms pressed show a body’s desire to connect,” she explains. “It also may be a way of comforting someone who is in pain or healing in a gentle, protective manner.”

At the end of the day, there's no right or wrong way to hold hands as long as everything is consensual and feels good to both parties, but knowing that even these intimate moments can speak volumes about our connections can be so interesting to see. In other words, knowing your partner like the palm of your hand just took on a whole new meaning.

Experts cited:

Patti Wood, a body language expert and author of Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma

Yana German, body language expert

Traci Brown, body language expert and author of Persuasion Point: Body Language and Speech for Influence

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