Behold: Your Favorite Rom-Coms, Rewritten For 2024

The best romantic comedies will never stop being hits. There’s a universality to them — maybe we always need to believe in happily-ever-afters, no matter what’s going on in the world. When your two options are basically doom-scrolling or turning on the TV to watch a beautiful woman spill her coffee all over Mr. Right… I’ll take the latter.

But it’s shaping up to be the year of movie reboots, so there’s never been a better time for fresh material. I have some ideas for putting a relatable, modern spin on some of the classics.

• The Parent Trap: In the 2024 edition, both Annie and Hallie do 23andMe and learn they have a twin sister. They post about it on TikTok, asking their followers to tag anyone identical to them. TikTok helps them out within minutes (remember that guy who cheated on his wife on an airplane?), and the two sisters reunite. Along the way, they get their parents back together.
• You’ve Got Mail: Kathleen, the owner of an adorable little bookstore called Barnes & Noble, matches on Hinge with Joe, Jeff Bezos’ imaginary son. Except… he’s not using real photos of himself, because he’s insecure. They start up a text-only romance while Kathleen is fighting the IRL Joe because his book-sales website is screwing over authors everywhere. After two weeks, Kathleen’s friends tell her it’s sketchy that the guy she’s been talking to won’t meet up with her in real life. Kathleen has to agree; she unmatches him.
• My Best Friend’s Wedding: Julianne and Michael promised each other if they were both single at 42 — not 28, like in the original, that’s extreme — they’d get married. But just before he turns 42, Michael meets Kimberly, who’s 21 — like in the original, because age-gap relationships are just as common nowadays. Julianne needs to find a way to break up the wedding before her last egg is gone.
• Bridget Jones’s Diary: Thanks to the body positivity movement, Bridget Jones admits there’s actually nothing wrong with the way she looks. Thanks to the power of social media, she goes viral on TikTok for exposing her inappropriate boss, Daniel Cleaver. After a quick investigation, he’s fired. She’s able to date Mark Darcy (who bears a striking resemblance to the U.K.’s new prime minister) with very little conflict.
• Hitch: Dating coach Hitch writes Bumble messages for his clients. But when he falls for DeuxMoi contributor Sara, he realizes his smooth tactics don’t always work, and he needs to try something different. Sara uncovers a secret, which is that Hitch has been coaching one of her friend’s boyfriends — without telling the friend. Sara doesn’t threaten to out them, though, because men are struggling in 2024, and she wants to support male friendship.

• Never Been Kissed: Sam does not pursue a relationship with a woman he believes to be a high schooler because he does not want to be sent to jail.
• The Wedding Planner: The cost of weddings is now so exorbitant that even a catering heiress like Fran doesn’t want to plan one. Therefore, wedding planner Mary is out of a job. But without the pressure of a wedding, Fran realizes earlier that she’s not meant to be with Steve, and Mary and Steve sail off into the sunset.
• The Runaway Bride: After walking away from her third fiancé, Maggie accepts that marriage just isn't for her. It’s 2024; plenty of women are choosing to live out their lives without romantic partners. She can find self-actualization in so many other ways, like becoming a crochet influencer.
• How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days: In 2024, dating is so bleak that 10 days actually constitutes an entire relationship from start to finish. Benjamin and Andie date for 10 days — in which time they go through all the ups and downs of romance — and then Benjamin tells her he’s not ready for anything serious.
• Clueless: Cher falls for her stepbrother, Josh. But she realizes that in order to soft-launch the relationship on Instagram, she has to admit to the world that she’s dating her stepbrother. She decides this is weird and breaks it off with him.

• What Women Want: Nick Marshall does not gain the ability to hear women’s thoughts. Instead, he has to listen to things women tell him. And he does! Which makes the reboot somehow even less realistic than the original.
• The Holiday: Iris and Amanda both Airbnb their apartments to make a little extra cash. Iris ends up in Amanda’s house in sunny Los Angeles. Amanda ends up in Iris’ house in sunny England (there’s no snow anymore — global warming). They both find love and air-conditioning during the winter heat wave.
• Notting Hill: The handsome owner of a local bookstore, coincidentally also called Barnes & Noble, is visited by one of the most famous TikTok stars in the world. Despite how different their worlds are, they fall in love. But then, the paparazzi find them, because she’s a lifestyle influencer and has to post about it. But still. It’s traumatic.
• When Harry Met Sally: The entire premise of this movie is that Harry annoys Sally until she gives in and decides to just marry him, which is still the perfect encapsulation of heterosexual dating. No notes, this one holds up.