Andie Could Have Tried Harder To Get Dumped In How To Lose A Guy

It has been 22 years since the beloved 2003 rom-com How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days came out. I recently rewatched it — a ritual I partake in whenever I want to go back in time. I always find happy endings comforting, but I find them especially comforting when they remind me how relaxed I was in middle school, when I didn’t have to pay rent or anything. After my most recent watch, I’ve realized there’s something we’re not talking about enough: Andie wasn't trying all that hard to get Ben to dump her.

In hindsight, I'm not surprised those two ended up together. Not only are they both insanely hot and have matching names (Andie Anderson and Benjamin Barry, are you kidding me?), but also, she was doing things a good girlfriend does while trying to give him the ick. She got him an adorable puppy and made an effort to befriend his family. She took him to a Celine Dion concert for free. She brought him to couples therapy to work on their communication, and even gave his package a catchy nickname.

If I were her, and I were actually trying to get a guy to dump me in 10 days — in 2025, with the help of modern technology — here's what I'd do:

1. Be the first person to watch and like every Instagram story, but never follow him. This will drive him insane. He'll wonder if you're searching his profile constantly, which is unsettling, but he'll also wonder why you don't follow him, which will drive his insecurities. It's a winning combo that will confuse him so much that he might end things. For extra credit, occasionally comment "Who's that?" on stories where he's clearly alone.
2. Use AI to respond to all his texts. He might not notice at first, but after you've stood him up for the 14th time because you didn't actually read the iMessage confirming dinner plans, he'll start to get suspicious. When he finally confronts you about the AI responses, insist that you've been writing everything yourself and act deeply offended that he can't recognize your "authentic communication style."
3. Dramatically gasp every time you see a pigeon. On Day 1, he’ll become annoyed that he has to notice all the pigeons. By Day 3, he'll be like, "Wait, I wanted to focus on my girlfriend, not the flying gray rats." Elevate this by occasionally whispering to the pigeons when you think he's not looking. If he catches you, simply say, "Oh, we were just gossiping," and refuse to elaborate.
4. Move to a neighborhood across town. No one wants to deal with traffic, subway transfers, a long walk, or anything generally inconvenient. If you meet him while you're in the same neighborhood, move a few miles away — that alone should bring the whole relationship grinding to a halt. Also, it will make things far worse for you, so you’ll be extra committed to putting the rest of these steps into practice.
5. Set him up with one of your friends. Ideally, your most annoying friend. Not only will he be upset that you're not jealous, but he'll also be confused about your intentions. Is this a test? A trap? An actual suggestion? The emotional whiplash alone might send him running. Make sure to constantly ask for updates: "Did you text her back? She really likes you!" Watch as his fight-or-flight response kicks into overdrive.
6. Suggest a threesome with his landlord. No one wants their landlord in their apartment, ever. It doesn't matter how hot the landlord is, and it doesn't matter that a threesome with a landlord is less weird than the threesomes depicted in The White Lotus. He'll run the other way, especially since the last thing he wants is to answer questions about why he repainted his walls, which his lease expressly prohibited. Bonus points if you can find a way to become his landlord.
7. Text him hourly updates about your pet rock's emotional status. Texting hourly is normal. Texting hourly about “our pet rock” is not. Create a backstory for the rock, complete with childhood trauma and career aspirations. And if you can’t think of any good childhood trauma for the rock, use his childhood trauma. Bonus points if you can fire off these texts every 15 minutes — that'll drive him away in seven or eight days, I bet.
8. Refer to yourself exclusively in the third person as "The Chosen One." This is not only clingy, but it also has mythical undertones, which raises a lot of questions. Make sure to do this in public settings, especially if you meet his boss. "The Chosen One requires more water," you'll announce at a dinner party, extending your empty glass toward the nearest person. His embarrassment will be immeasurable.
9. Start talking about the cost of your wedding on the second date. Talking about the wedding itself isn't taking it far enough — what he's honestly afraid of is the price tag. Make it clear by Date 2 that you're not settling for anything less than the Waldorf, and he might get freaked out.
10. Ghost him. This is a surefire way to get him to break up with you. It's 2025. He'll get on every single dating app if he doesn't hear from you in 48 hours, and he'll have a new girlfriend by Day 5.

If he’s still not getting it, watch How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days with him, and comment on how grounded and normal Andie seems. You’ve got this.