Breakups are absolutely excruciating.
Just walking by a restaurant you went to with your ex is enough to send you into a fit of tears. Every time your phone buzzes, you secretly hope it's the guy or girl who dumped you.
In the first few days, it all feels bad.
You desperately clutch your pillow in a sad attempt to feel like you're sleeping next to someone, you can't eat, you can't really sleep and your best friend constantly has to run out of meetings during the workday to take your tearful calls.
A few weeks later, though, things start to feel a bit more normal. You're eating again, maybe you've even gone on a date.
However, without fail, there's one time of day that absolutely sucks: the moment you wake up.
Trust me, I've been there. I've even dreamt about my ex, only to wake up to face the sad, cruel reality of the situation. It's brutal.
But why? Why, exactly, are mornings such a tough time when your heart is broken?
I consulted psychotherapist Jennifer L. Silvershein, LMSW, about this very question. Here's what she had to say.
Mornings are the only time of day when your guard is truly down.
Once you've gotten past the phase when all you do is obsessively stalk your ex on social media while shamelessly eating two pints of ice cream and crying, you're probably doing what any healthy person would do: You're keeping yourself busy.
Suddenly, your calendar is totally full. You're grabbing drinks with an old co-worker on Tuesday, having dinner with your cousin on Wednesday and you're going on a Bumble date on Thursday -- between work and your busy social life, you don't have much time to think.
According to Silvershein, we do this because most people don't enjoy sitting in discomfort and keeping busy is a good way to avoid feeling that way.
She tells Elite Daily,
In the moments we are not filling our heads to avoid the feelings, they creep up in hopes of being felt and then resolved. Mornings may feel the hardest in the weeks and months after a breakup because it's when our minds are most clear. We haven't put our headphones in to listen to music, created our lengthy to-do lists or entered the hustle and bustle of life as a way to avoid the feelings of grief. Individuals may find evenings to be just as difficult because we are again left with our feelings and thoughts.
Makes sense, right?
Here's how to make your mornings a little easier.
While keeping busy is a great tool for dealing with a breakup, you do have to let your emotions in once in a while.
It's important to try to channel all that sad energy in a healthy way.
Silvershein advises,
A great way to begin feeling better is to exercise... the benefits of 20 minutes of exercise can last up to 12 hours. Exercise releases endorphins, the feel-good brain chemical. Another great exercise to practice when you wake up in the morning is writing down five things you're grateful for. Identifying the positives in life make for a more positive outlook.
As an added bonus, the more you exercise, the hotter you'll look... and the more likely your ex will regret breaking up with you. Bring on the revenge Instagrams!
Good luck healing that broken heart. You got this.
