Lifestyle

The Girls' Room: 9 Reasons Bar Bathrooms Are Mini Sanctuaries

by The Ambrose Girls
Paramount Pictures

There comes a time in every bar-hopping girl's life when she inevitably has to use the ladies' room. As much as we “dread” going to the bathroom, we all secretly love the possibility of adventure on our way there. It's super exciting! Why, you ask?

Well, it is a trip filled with opportunity. You never know which gal pals are going to be huddled in there gossiping, and which drunk slob will make you feel so great about not being her.

The best part? Any cattiness is left at the bathroom door. Women you would be in legit competition with bar side become your best friends sink side.

The bathroom is like a secret portal where girl code comes back to life. You can just smell camaraderie alongside the scents of spilled alcohol and sweat.

These marvelous women we come across make a huge impact in our lives, and we will never forget them, even though our relationship goes no further than the swinging bathroom door.

There are a million reasons we love these babes we will probably never come into contact with again, but these are the top nine:

1. Small talk is never boring.

Just because you’re standing next to a woman in the bathroom whom you’ve never met does not mean you break your silence by chatting about the weather.

You skip right past that boring chatter, and jump right into making fun of the girl who has taken up residence on the floor of stall three.

2. You feel comfortable sharing your biggest secrets.

You’re no rookie. You have been to the bathroom plenty of times, and you know odds are, you will never see any of these women again. And even if you do, the chances that they actually remember what you talked about are slim to none.

So, if you’re in a dramatic mini-drama with your crush who's outside and you need advice STAT, your new girlfriends lend a helpful ear.

3. Everyone is filled with compliments.

It would be a rare occurrence for a woman to approach a random woman in front of a crowded bar just to tell her how badass her shoes are. But, when huddled into a tiny small bathroom, it would just feel wrong to not acknowledge such an awesome fashion choice with a compliment.

4. Someone always has lip gloss or mints.

Can any woman survive a night out on the town without either of these items? Hell, no! Thankfully, amongst your newest group of bathroom sisters, someone is bound to have your missing evening staple, and she will be glad to share it with you.

5. We help each other out.

Whether it’s a busted zipper, a lost earring or a clutch left behind, we will all be there trying to help the cause. Someone always knows how to tie great bows or to fix that broken strap. Us bathroom women band together, and we can solve any problem.

6. We get serious when sh*t gets real.

Yes, perhaps the woman who was over-served is a bit funny at first. However, when we see a fellow intoxicated bathroom gal take a turn for the worse, we are all willing to help get water, hold hair back and do whatever it takes to help her out.

It’s totally what she would do for us.

7. We say the things we hesitate to tell our friends.

Why do friends tend to have trouble speaking up when someone has something in her teeth or needs to fix her hair? In the glam girl world of the women’s bathroom, someone always speaks up.

We are all in there getting our primp on, so as sink-sharing soul sisters, someone is most definitely going to correct a big faux pas.

8. We rally each other.

As enjoyable as a trip to the bathroom is, we all really want to get in, get out and go back to our evenings. If there is a slow poke holding everyone up, you better bet your ass everyone else will band together to rally said slow poke to get her moving along.

It's just, like, the rules of feminism.

9. We encourage relationship decisions.

Many of us turn to the bathroom line in times of desperation.

“Should I text [said guy]?”

Just ask a random bathroom bestie, and she will steer you in the right direction. With no bias and little backstory, she will encourage you to listen to the best judge for your relationship choices: you.

This may or may not be good advice, depending on how many cocktails have been consumed.

To our long lost best friends, sisters and dream girls, this is an ode to you. We hope you’re doing great wherever you are, and we hope to drunkenly cross your paths again sometime soon.

Thank you for making the other side of the swinging “Ladies” door a little girly heaven. You are the best.