We all have that one dress.
The one that makes your ass look JLo approved and your chest the stuff of Jessica Simpson's dreams.
It's called the "f*ck me" dress. You should covet it the same way Carrie Bradshaw does her Manolos.
A dress designated just for freaky behavior has always been a staple in every girl's closet. Then again, Beyoncé solidified the idea when she made her fateful "Freakum Dress" declaration.
To be honest, your "f*ck me" dress is just as essential as your little black dress. It's like a pawn in your date night chess game.
Personally, I dust mine off for those special occasions when I'm tired of masturbating and don't want to leave anything to chance.
It reassures me I'm a bad b*tch and instantly ups my odds of getting laid. If you're reading this with one special dress in mind, rest assured your "f*ck me" dress is a wardrobe essential.
1. You get free drinks.
Bring your wallet, but don't plan on reaching for it (hair flip).
2. It can double as your LBD.
You've killed two birds with one black dress. Congrats!
3. It's an automatic pick-me-up when you're sad about being single.
Your self-esteem will shoot up the second you slip it on. Playing the field can be fun, too.
4. It's the gift that keeps on giving.
Better than any gift you could give a guy.
5. You're more social and less awkward when you wear it.
Since your confidence skyrockets, you aren't too shy about cracking jokes with strangers. Those three drinks helped, too.
6. You feel empowered wearing it.
You're like the female version of Iron Man, invincible in that naked dress.
7. Beyoncé suggested it.
And yes, we listen to Beyoncé.
8. Your ex-bae despises it.
Price tag? $150.
Seeing the look on your ex's face when you wear it to a mutual friend's birthday dinner? Priceless.
9. You feel sexy in it.
This goes without saying.
10. You attract really hot guys.
Like a bee to honey, you attract men who are easy on the eyes.
11. It practically paid for itself.
The power you feel is invaluable, even though you're short on rent this month.
12. It's strictly about girl power.
Men will fall at their knees when they spot you in that bodycon.
13. Getting sex is a sure thing.
Yes, you will get laid.
14. There's no insecurity involved.
The only thing more rock solid than your body is your confidence in asking a guy for his number.
15. You would f*ck yourself.
Well, if all else fails, you have a collection of toys to enjoy at home.
16. It makes you feel rebellious.
Your mom will not approve of your super-short frock, even if she likes the picture on Facebook.
17. It confirms how sexy you can be.
You are a sex goddess!
Caution: Checking yourself out in the mirror will be mind-blowing.
