13 Holistic Remedies Every Girl Uses When She Just Can't Even With Life
When females are sad, they indulge in a variety of behaviors to make themselves feel better.
We don't really give a sh*t if these "remedies" are healthy or not, all we care about is that we make ourselves feel better by whatever means necessary.
Whether this involves a long walk with a pint of Ben and Jerry's or a 10-hour Netflix binge — the options truly are endless.
So how do we cope with the situations we unfortunately find ourselves in from time to time? Well...
1. If your boyfriend breaks up with you
A female's remedy: Cry, eat, cry, eat, cry, eat, cry, cry, eat, eat, erase all your Facebook pictures together
Why it's valid: Because when you get your heart broken, you are entitled to do whatever the f*ck you want
What you should probably do instead: Hit the gym and do whatever it takes to keep your mind off the situation
2. You aren't getting a text back
A female's remedy: Text every single boy you have on the back burner for a confidence boost; send 15 follow up messages until you get an answer
Why it's valid: Because you think you're undesirable and thus must make sure other people actually want you
What you should probably do instead: Umm... wait?
3. You didn't get the job offer you really wanted
A female's remedy: Overanalyze every little thing you did in the interview to try and pinpoint what was the determining factor
Why it's valid: How else are you supposed to process?
What you should probably do instead: Go over your résumé and change it
4. Someone told you that you look like Sarah Jessica Parker
A female's remedy: Head to Sephora and the hair salon to get a complete makeover
Why it's valid: Who would ever want to look like that?!
What you should probably do instead: Take it as a compliment -- that chick made quite the career with that face of hers
5. You lost your phone
A female's remedy: A woman goes through these phases when she realizes she has lost her most prized possession: euphoria, anxiety, sheer panic and, finally, frantically sprinting around searching like a psycho
Why it's valid: Because you lost your damn phone! How else are you supposed to react...
What you should probably do instead: Look for a solid 10 minutes, accept your fate and move on
6. You broke up with your boyfriend
A female's remedy: Join Tinder and purchase an entire new supply of lingerie
Why it's valid: Because the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else
What you should probably do instead: Adhere to the proper grieving period to not look like an emotionless assh*le
7. You have your period
A female's remedy: Eat absolutely anything and everything you can get your hands on
Why it's valid: Because calories don't count during this time of the month
What you should probably do instead: Go about your normal routine as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening — HA!
8. Bad hair day
A female's remedy: Straighten and re-straighten and over-straighten her hair
Why it's valid: You need to tame the frizz!
What you should probably do instead: Put a hat on and call it a day; throw it in a ponytail and accept that today is just not your day
9. You and your best friend are fighting
A female's remedy: Talk sh*t about this situation to another mutual friend who will take your side
Why it's valid: You need to know that you were not in the wrong here
What you should probably do instead: Talk the situation out with her calmly and rationally
10. You think you're about to be fired
A female's remedy: Cry and drink an entire bottle of wine to your face
Why it's valid: The situation is too far out of whack for you to do any damage control
What you should probably do instead: Pray
11. You're broke
A female's remedy: Spend more money you don't have on things you don't need
Why it's valid: Retail therapy does wonders
What you should probably do instead: Start selling your clothes to the nearest Plato's Closet you can find
12. You blacked out and f*cked up
A female's remedy: Deny until you die
Why it's valid: Because if you can't remember, it never happened
What you should probably do instead: Pretend it never happened
13. Moral hangover
A female's remedy: Cry; pretend it never happened; play dumb
Why it's valid: What girl likes to be reminded of the terrible things she did?
What you should probably do instead: ...I have absolutely no idea
Top Photo Courtesy: We Heart It
