Nothing kills my lady boner more than watching porn stars get it on.
How am I supposed to be turned on by people completely faking it? I'm talking whiny fake orgasms, botched boob jobs and bleached assh*les. Ugh, the assh*les.
I've learned to avoid porn sites like RedTube and PornHub because they just don't do it for me. The porn industry shows me what it thinks sex is supposed to look like. And, after awhile, it all looks the same. Professionally produced porn is the Disneyland of anal, unnaturally clean and organized.
I'm not the only woman out there who isn't into the mainstream porn available online, either.
Like many Millennials, I've turned to a better source for my preferences: Tumblr.
Tumblr isn't just home to super-basic inspirational quotes and pictures of cats cosplaying. There's a sexy Tumblr blog out there for any weird-ass fantasies you might have. It's probably even connected to an underground fetish community.
These blog names don't leave anything to the imagination: Tumblr accounts like Porn4Ladies, We-Want-Nudity and LesbianErotica make it very clear what you're getting. Do you just want to see guys with tattoos? Pencil drawings of your favorite sex positions? Maybe you're more into regular, non-porn people filming themselves getting it on. Whatever it is, there's a blog for it and it's free.
Tumblr has a significant community based around adult content. Out of Tumblr's 200,000 most visited blogs, 11 percent of them are dedicated to sexy stuff.
When I brought up Tumblr's adult community to my co-worker Niki, she immediately asked, “How can you masturbate to a GIF?” She has a point. You're not just watching five seconds of the same blow job on a loop the whole time, though, because the experience is about scrolling through the endless variety.
Besides, why not get your porn fix in the same place you find the funniest cat memes? It'll give you something to do after the big O is over.
Tumblr does porn smarter.
Before I discovered Tumblr, I chose videos randomly and skipped through them to the parts I wanted to see.
There's video (and even audio) on Tumblr, but the GIFs are where it's at. Why skip around the whole clip when you can just enjoy the best parts? For the lazy masturbator, the work is done for you. A five-second loop of someone receiving oral can be a lot sexier than watching an entire five-minute video.
Plus, you don't have to waste precious time on ball closeups that aren't your thing. Oh, and there are no ads featuring women made up of 80 percent plastic boob who are DTF and “in your area.” No, thank you.
You can't beat the convenience of only needing one hand to scroll on your phone while the other one is busy. I like to think of it as multitasking. I do have a fear of dropping my phone and accidentally sending a naughty GIF to everyone in my address book, but it hasn't happened yet.
Because Tumblr is community-driven, its porn blogs are crafted and curated based on either its author's preferences or its audience's. This gives each blog a distinct flavor. By following your favorite bloggers, your dashboard becomes a one-stop shop for your specific taste in porn. Active blogs are updated every day, so you'll always see something new without having to search for it.
It's really not so different from the old-fashioned way of collecting porn from magazines, but now there's an app for it.
It's sex that feels intimate and personal, because much of it actually is.
When women show off sexy selfies on Tumblr, the result is artistic and empowering, rather than exploitative. A huge range of body types are represented on Tumblr, and the users really flaunt what they have. Unlike the adult content on popular sites, a large majority of the women and couples involved actually want to participate and enjoy the experience.
It's basically porn for women, by women.
Consent and the treatment of women in the porn industry (both on and off set) has always been a concern for me. Tumblr's adult community is a safe haven that hides in plain sight, where women and men publish their own content. No one is forcing them to get naked; they're just inspired. I see it as their way of celebrating their bodies.
Some blogs are run by couples who photograph and film themselves. Many have gained huge followings and have regular contributors. Some of those who run blogs are completely anonymous and never show their faces, while others don't give a f*ck about baring it all.
For me, Tumblr has made browsing and exploring my sexual preferences a more enjoyable experience, and I know I'm not alone. Not sure where to start? Tumblr utilizes hashtags in the same way Twitter and Instagram do. Start by searching for hashtags based on your interests, and happy scrolling.
