Relationships

How To RSVP 'No' To A Wedding Without Feeling Guilty

by Jen Glantz

It happens to all of us once or twice a year. Our mailboxes seem to receive an influx of letters that aren't credit card bills or mailers from coupon companies. It's the time when we find ourselves receiving more wedding invitations and save the dates than we have free time or a disposable income to attend.

We'll do everything we can to say yes to attend those weddings and make it there in person, but once in a while, we have to say no. Whether it's because we have another commitment that weekend or it's just too pressing on our budget to attend, we find ourselves looking for an easy and painless way to let the couple know that we can't be there to celebrate one of the biggest nights of their entire life.

Sounds stressful, doesn't it? If you find yourself glaring at an RSVP card, trying to figure out how to put an “x” next to “I regretfully decline,” here are five ways to RSVP no to a wedding without feeling guilty.

1. Do it ASAP.

If you can't make it and you know you can't make it, give the couple a heads up as soon as possible. When the save the date flies into your mailbox, call or text the couple letting them know you can't go. That way, you won't find yourself teetering on the edge of the RSVP deadline, feeling bad that you can't make it.

2. Send a gift.

Sending back an RSVP card marked “no” may have you feeling some guilt in your gut. You can curb that feeling by sending over a nice wedding card with a gift inside. That way, you'll let the couple know that even though you can't be there in person, you still wanted to give them a little something to remind them that you're part of the celebration.

3. Plan a night out.

Make it up to the bride and groom by taking them out to dinner before or after their wedding. If you live in another state or country, take them out to dinner in a more unique way by sending them a restaurant gift certificate.

4. Give a specific reason.

No means no but when it comes to sending your RSVP for a wedding, you'll feel less rude if you give a specific reason why you can't make it. Have another wedding? Is it the weekend after your big exam for school? Would travel arrangements cost you an arm and a leg? Be honest about why you can't make it in person.

5. Don't change your mind.

Once you've made a decision, stick with it. You'll drive yourself crazy if you become indecisive on whether or not you should go, after you've already responded no. Spend quality time with yourself and your calendar before making your decision and once you've made it, stick with it. Even if your friends tell you you're missing the wedding of the century.