5 Halloween Costume Ideas For Anyone Who Kind Of Secretly Hates Halloween
I can't say I understand why people would hate Halloween and wouldn't want to participate. It's a spooky and delicious holiday that has origins dating back to a time when people got dressed up and lit bonfires with the sole intention of warding off ghosts. Sure, the holiday has been somewhat secularized since then, and it's now mostly about gathering candy from your neighbors while dressed like Count Dracula, then gorging yourself on Snickers while you watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre. But listen up, costume- and fun-haters: There are some Halloween costume ideas if you hate Halloween that'll allow you to get in on the fun without having to go totally overboard — or even without having to put that much effort in at all, really.
And God knows you'll probably be invited to a party that pretty much requires you to wear some sort of costume, and you don't want to be that person who was "too cool" to get dressed up. Trust me when I say no one, and I mean no one, likes the person at the party who showed up still dressed in their work clothes.
Luckily, pretty much all of these costumes can be executed using things you very likely already own. Here are some ideas to get you started.
01A Beatnik
So, "beatnik" is a term coined by San Francisco-based journalist Herb Caen that was, in its own way, sort of belittling. It became synonymous with the stereotype we see associated with the writers, artists, and bohemians of the Beat Generation, and it was meant to poke fun at their free-wheeling, sex-having, poetry-writing, and coffee-booze-cigarette-fueled lives.
But the stereotype lends an aesthetic that happens to be very easy to replicate for Halloween, and it means you can be moody all night long, but still technically be in costume.
Get yourself a black turtleneck, some sunglasses, a beret, and a fake cigarette. Be sure to scowl as much as possible all night, you Debbie Downer.
02An Egg
You don't even have to get as involved as that girl did with the whole big sheet thing she has going on.
Truly, all you need to dress up as an egg is a white t-shirt, and some sort of yellow dot to tape onto your stomach, and you'll be good to go. Easy enough, right?
03Risky Business
With the main features of this costume being a white, loose button-down shirt, a pair of sunglasses, and some slippery socks, this one hardly counts as dressing up.
Plus, comfort seems to be the main theme here. So even if you're not enjoying yourself on Halloween, at least you're not wearing something tight and spandex-y and awkward, which is why you hate most costumes to begin with, right?
04A Night In
Printed Poplin Cotton Pajama Set - Coffee, $65.99, The Company Store
Make your way over to your spooky soirée in your comfiest pajamas or sweats. If you're feeling even the slightest bit fancy, you can splurge on the cute PJ set above from The Company Store — especially if you wholeheartedly appreciate a quality cup of coffee.
Either way, consider bringing along a blanket or a pillow to complete the look (and to give yourself the opportunity to doze off somewhere if you get bored).
05A Make Out Session
H3 Lipstick, $21, Mally Beauty
Trust me, this one honestly takes no ingenuity or creativity whatsoever. Put on some red lipstick, then smear it across your face with the back of your hand. Seriously, there's no rhyme or reason for how to smear here. Just go for it, my friend.
Besides, you can take this as an opportunity to buy yourself (or a lover, perhaps?) a super nice lipstick with all the money you just saved as a result of not buying a "real" costume.
