The Actor Who Played Barney Now Runs A Tantric Sex Business, So Here We Are I Guess

"I love you. You love me. We're a happy family. With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, won't you say you love me, too?" If you recognize those words and they seem to ignite a warm, fuzzy nostalgic glow in your heart, prepare to have your world rocked forever. It turns out the guy who played Barney, David Joyner, also known as the dude who taught us that beautiful jingle as children, is now teaching people how to love each other in a... different way. Yep, David Joyner now runs a tantric sex business.

Tantric sex essentially involves Tantra, a spiritual practice dating back to ancient times, and is a slowed-down version of sex, focusing on fostering a soulful connection with your partner. Joyner's business is called Tantra Harmony, and on the "About Me" page on the business' website (which is currently seems to be down at the time of publication), it states, "I began studying Tantra at the tender age of 20," which leads me to believe he was loving tantric sex even when he was playing the purple dino. In fact, according to The Cut, Joyner was specifically told not to practice it while he worked on Barney & Friends; however, he explained to Vice it was necessary in order for him to "maintain an abundance of joy during the process."

Joyner reportedly only accepts female clients with his business, according to Vice, and his site boasts (with many exclamation points):

It is time for women to understand their true worth and the true essence they have to offer to the world. The true spirit of a woman that lies within, must now take its true and rightful place, and shine its light for all to see. This is my goal!!! This is my calling!!! This is my mission!!!

So how does he go about teaching women all of these things? Well, according to Vice, he charges each woman, whom he chooses to refer to as a "goddess," $350 for a full session. That full session lasts three to four hours, and throughout it, Joyner, a trained Tantra massage specialist and energy healer according to his site, offers a wide variety of services, from chakra balances to ritual baths to massages. Oh, and really great orgasms, apparently.

Yep, you read that correctly. Joyner told Vice, “When the lingam [penis] and the yoni [vagina] meet, there’s a certain energy that takes place that hands on the body alone cannot create. Even through G-spot massage, it’s still not the same energy that flows." Interesting. According to Vice, Joyner says P-in-V sex is ideal for reaching a "higher and more blissful state of awareness," and that using condoms "[blocks] the energy." He also maintains that STD tests on his part and his clients' parts are required, in addition to a signed consent form.

However, Matthias Rose, a certified tantra educator and founder of the Moksha Tantra Center in Seattle, told Vice he does not agree with Joyner's philosophy. “I strongly disagree with this," Rose told Vice. "I can’t say there’s never a place for intercourse; it’s part of the tantric tool set, but in a client/practitioner relationship, it’s almost always never needed — particularly for healing purposes."

Joyner also compared performing oral sex on a woman to blessing food before you eat it, so there's that:

When you go down on a woman (orally), it should be just like you’re saying grace, like blessing the food you’re about to receive. No food in the world can compare to goddess nectar because spirit is involved. Before you taste the goddess nectar, give thanks. Say grace. I would love women to understand how powerful that energy is.

Vice spoke to three of Joyner's clients, and all three seemed satisfied with Joyner's services.

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