I'd love to say with absolute certainty that breaking up with someone in person is always the right way to go, but anyone who's lived a little knows that this isn't always the case. Most people aren't too jazzed about meeting up with someone IRL just to dump them, even though in most situations, this is in fact the decent thing to do. But even the most considerate people have likely been in situations where they just couldn't, and probably had to turn to texts to send when breaking up over the phone.
Texts like these can be hard to draft, because depending on if they saw the breakup coming or not, the other person is probably going to have some questions. If it's at all possible, setting time aside to have a proper conversation over the phone is a good way to avoid breaking up with them completely via text.
But at the end of the day, if the person you're breaking up with has given you pretty much any reason to believe that they can't handle an in-person convo — like if they have a bad temper or have made you feel uncomfortable in any way — then dating etiquette be damned, you should do whatever you need to do to cut the cord without putting yourself in the line of fire. If, however, they're a totally decent human being and you just don't want to face them for your own reasons, remember the times when people ended things with you without even pretending like they cared. But if it can't be avoided, here are four texts to send to let someone know the end is nigh.
01"Hey, are you free to talk later? I've been doing some thinking about us and I think it might be time to talk about some things."
As I mentioned earlier, if for whatever reason you've decided to break things off without meeting in person, then offering to have a conversation over the phone is the next best thing. That said, I think it's always a good idea to be clear about what you want to talk about so they aren't completely blindsided. This way they can ugly cry in private and get closure during the actual breakup convo.
02"I'm sorry if I haven't been myself lately, I've been having a hard time and I think it would be best if we stopped seeing each other. Let me know if you're free to talk later."
If you are 100 percent sure that you want to end things, but you want to give them the option of talking over the phone without forcing the issue, "Let me know if you're free to talk later" is a solid way of letting them know you're willing to talk about things on their terms.
03"Hey, can you call me when you're free? I've really enjoyed the time we've spent together, but lately I'm feeling like being in a relationship isn't what I should be focusing on right now."
This is a good text to send if you haven't been seeing each other for very long. Sometimes the hardest people to face are the ones that you kind of knew from the start weren't "the one," but you started to like them and thought "Maybe?" And then by no fault of their own, you came to your senses and realized that you definitely wanted out. Again, I think these people really deserve a face-to-face conversation. But if it hasn't been longer than a couple of months, they might want to save face and pretend like they aren't that upset. It could be a win-win.
04"Do you have some time to talk later? I haven't been feeling great about how things are going between us and I think it's best if I fly solo for a while."
If they were trolling you or did something that basically disqualified them from being your partner, but you think they're going to try to convince you to stay, letting them know that you aren't happy and that you want to spend some time alone is the best approach. Even if you're not being totally honest, it's hard to come up with a counter-argument for when someone tells you outright that they want to be alone.
Breaking up is rarely easy. Even if you're sure you're doing the right thing, being the one to end things can be hard. But if things just don't feel right, you owe it to the both of you to follow your heart.
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